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HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF, Ramblings Of An Overworked Mind

batmanchester
post Nov 19 2006, 02:36 AM
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Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Staple pages in the middle of the page.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_to_tick_people_off.shtml


laughing1.gif
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Sanders
post Nov 19 2006, 04:41 AM
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LOL laugh.gif


I think about half of those things would get you deemed an enemy combatant
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grizz
post Nov 19 2006, 10:11 AM
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aka Oceans Flow


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From: Oregon
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Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

I do this all the time, sometimes while ordering and sometimes I wait until I get to the window. biggrin.gif


Ask people what gender they are.

Several years ago I was becoming friends with a black man who was a customer at the convenience store where I worked. One day, I said, "I have a personal question. Somebody told me you are black. Is that true?" James laughed so hard he almost couldn't stop. Over the years we have become very close friends.
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Method
post Nov 19 2006, 01:47 PM
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..with liberty and justice for all.


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Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Staple pages in the middle of the booklet.

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."




Good stuff bat. [laugh]
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