Man Takes Viagra, Wears Sweatpants For Tsa Pat Down |
  |
Man Takes Viagra, Wears Sweatpants For Tsa Pat Down |
 Jul 13 2012, 04:03 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 Group: Admin Posts: 9,266 Joined: 13-August 06 Member No.: 1  |
NASHVILLE INT’L AIRPORT — A Wyoming man walked through a TSA checkpoint with a raging erection on Thursday, daring TSA officers and even fellow passengers to give him an invasive pat down.
“I’m next,” Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix. ,,,,,,,, Even though TSA officials allowed Kelvin to initially pass through security without the controversial pat down, the passenger on more than one occasion got back in line until he felt that he had been thoroughly inspected. Kelvin finally got the invasive pat down by 38-year-old officer Duncan Allbright after 80 minutes and four trips through security. “Even after we let him pass through he kept walking out of the terminal and getting back in line,” said Watershed. “Finally, Duncan had to bite the bullet for everyone and do a thorough screening of him in a private [security] room.” Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. “I’m going home to take a shower and make love to my wife,” said Allbright as he got into his car. “This job isn’t for me. I’ve suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers.” U.S Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano dismissed concerns that more TSA officers would quit or that more travelers would take similar measures to get their “jollies”. “I am hoping this is an isolated incident. If flights were a lot cheaper, I could see more people doing this,” said Napolitano, “but with the cost of airplane fuel rising, I don’t think $560 roundtrip is a bargain price to get fondled.” Calls to TSA headquarters went unanswered, as everyone there is just exhausted. By Garrett Baldwin http://thewashingtonfancy.com/2011/09/18/m...a-pat-down/1500 |
 |
 
|
|
Jul 13 2012, 04:29 PM
Post
#2
|
|
|
Group: Valued Member Posts: 2,054 Joined: 30-January 09 Member No.: 4,095 |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/handsdown.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/handsdown.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/handsdown.gif)
QUOTE the passenger on more than one occasion got back in line until he felt that he had been thoroughly inspected. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laughing1.gif) This post has been edited by onesliceshort: Jul 13 2012, 04:30 PM |
|
|
|
|
Jul 15 2012, 12:37 AM
Post
#3
|
|
|
Group: Valued Member Posts: 108 Joined: 17-May 08 Member No.: 3,358 |
Just in case you're not aware (as I wasn't at first when I saw it on facebook), this is from a satire site similar to Onion. I laughed pretty hard reading it though. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 15 2012, 09:51 AM
Post
#4
|
|
|
Group: Valued Member Posts: 3,772 Joined: 14-December 06 From: Fort Pierce, FL Member No.: 331 |
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 21 2012, 03:32 AM
Post
#5
|
|
|
dig deeper Group: Administrator Posts: 972 Joined: 16-October 06 From: arlington va Member No.: 96 |
in related news:
(IMG:http://haryanasnp.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/penis-1.png) QUOTE World's most 'well-endowed' man stopped and frisked by suspicious TSA officials PUBLISHED: 11:54 EST, 17 July 2012 | UPDATED: 12:10 EST, 18 July 2012 A man who has the world's largest penis was stopped by security at an airport after guards feared he had a suspect package hidden in his pants. Jonah Falcon was stopped at San Francisco International Airport as he went through the usual security. The well-endowed 41-year-old was frisked and had white powder sprinkled on his pants to check for traces of explosives after a ‘very noticeable’ bulge in his clothing was interpreted by TSA agents as a potential ‘biological threat,’ the Huffington Post reported (link). (IMG:http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/07/17/article-2174937-1418FC65000005DC-999_468x286.jpg) The former computer games reviewer has previously featured in a HBO documentary about the size of his manhood, which measures 9 inches limp and 13.5 inches when aroused. He said: ‘I had my ’stuff’ strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time. ‘One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said ’Yes.’ I said, ’It’s my d**k.’ ‘He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around my penis with his hands. ‘They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.’ Falcon, who was also led through an X-Ray body scanner and passed a metal detector, added: ‘Another guard stopped me and asked if I had some sort of growth.’ He aroused suspicions at San Francisco Airport on his way to New York. He said: ‘I’m just going to wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they’ll know. ‘You’d think they would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not.’ Mr Falcon became a minor celebrity in the U.S. in 1999 due to the size of his manhood after being profiled in Rolling Stone magazine and appearing on HBO. (original source) |
|
|
|
|
Jul 21 2012, 03:57 AM
Post
#6
|
|
|
Group: Admin Posts: 9,266 Joined: 13-August 06 Member No.: 1 |
Ha!
Careful TSA! that's a loaded weapon you're dealing with.... funny shit.... Thanks for posting p. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 21st May 2013 - 01:02 AM |
